I have often found young people, so accustomed to being judged, frequently anticipating what a sexual health service will think of them.
From the reception desk, I have often observed young people display penitence to rival that of a novice in holy orders. "This won't happen again... I feel so stupid... oh no, I don't need the opening times, I won't be here again", all confessed with eyes cast downwards. This is clearly meant to disarm the disapproving service, so they won't be unkind to them and regard them as one of the undeserving, irresponsible sort. This used to sadden me so much; their experience of services, or the reputation of services, or the community's values which they felt were represented by the service, must have made such an approach seem expedient or appropriate. The idea that there is such a thing as an undeserving, irresponsible service-user out there reflects a host of negative ideas about young people and sex that "the age of permissiveness" has yet to sweep away, or is no way near as embedded as is often claimed! Similarly, in a consultation with a young man recently, we were discussing why people have sex and he was quick to "reassure" me: "oh no, I mean, you don't just do it for fun!"
It just goes to show that there is still a long way to go before a healthier message about sex gets really out there among young people.
Owen Roberts
Development Manager - Young People's Sexual Health Services Crickets Lane Clinic Ashton-under-Lyne
OL6 6NG
0161 343 0303
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Moving beyond the birds and the bees by Jackie Behan
I enjoyed Julie Wray’s discussion of language in particular what we call our body parts last week. It made me think how crucial the issue of language is in sexual health and how often in this country we find it easier to use words and phrases which confuse, rather than clarify.
It reminded me of the comments of young people made in a video booth consultation we carried out when we moved premises. I should add that I work for Brook Manchester, a free, confidential young people’s sexual health and advice service, and part of a national network of Brook centres http://www.brook.org.uk/.
We asked young people how they would improve sex and relationship education and one young women offered this evaluation of the SRE delivered in her school, “it’s just the birds and the bees, what’s that all about?”
Indeed, what is that about? I was surprised to see what feels like such an old fashioned and also oblique phrase still be used by young people today. I was certainly disappointed that this young person was receiving SRE that left her feeling so short changed.
Across the UK through it’s clinical services, its campaigning and lobbying work, and its outreach and education work, Brook and its partners are facilitating a shift away from SRE which leaves young people feeling ill equipped to navigate modern relationships and lacking the skills to negotiate safer, more pleasurable sex.
We want to see programmes that offer a broad range of both skills and knowledge being embedded into the curriculum and beyond. We have seen at first hand how they can develop a young persons’ confidence, their emotional resilience and their ability to reflect upon risk and the impact this might have on their life.
We want to move from comments like that to this resounding evaluation by one young women of a programme Brook Manchester delivered in a school non-attenders’ project.
“I learnt not be ashamed of my sexuality.”
I think I can hang up my hat when all young people describe their SRE in terms like that!
Jackie Behan
Outreach Manager
Brook Manchester
Email: jackieb@brookmanchester.org.uk
It reminded me of the comments of young people made in a video booth consultation we carried out when we moved premises. I should add that I work for Brook Manchester, a free, confidential young people’s sexual health and advice service, and part of a national network of Brook centres http://www.brook.org.uk/.
We asked young people how they would improve sex and relationship education and one young women offered this evaluation of the SRE delivered in her school, “it’s just the birds and the bees, what’s that all about?”
Indeed, what is that about? I was surprised to see what feels like such an old fashioned and also oblique phrase still be used by young people today. I was certainly disappointed that this young person was receiving SRE that left her feeling so short changed.
Across the UK through it’s clinical services, its campaigning and lobbying work, and its outreach and education work, Brook and its partners are facilitating a shift away from SRE which leaves young people feeling ill equipped to navigate modern relationships and lacking the skills to negotiate safer, more pleasurable sex.
We want to see programmes that offer a broad range of both skills and knowledge being embedded into the curriculum and beyond. We have seen at first hand how they can develop a young persons’ confidence, their emotional resilience and their ability to reflect upon risk and the impact this might have on their life.
We want to move from comments like that to this resounding evaluation by one young women of a programme Brook Manchester delivered in a school non-attenders’ project.
“I learnt not be ashamed of my sexuality.”
I think I can hang up my hat when all young people describe their SRE in terms like that!
Jackie Behan
Outreach Manager
Brook Manchester
Email: jackieb@brookmanchester.org.uk
Thursday, April 17, 2008
"Down there!"
Finding the right words, Julie Wray comments....
If you have ever been involved in teaching or facilitating sex education with young people, then you will know that using the right words, the ones that make sense and relate to young people, is crucial. In fact, I would say that in all my work in health care most people or service users prefer easy to understand language and meaningful words when explaining health matters that concern them.
I find it fascinating then that so many people use alternative words, essentially codes for the naming of body parts and especially genitals, our "private parts". One example has always stuck in my mind. When I was visiting a family as part of my role as a community practitioner and I happened to say in conversation that I had a niece called Lily, the person I was talking to was absolutely horrified and said "Oh no! Not Lily. That’s our family word for vagina! I was surprised and wondered why people do this.
I have always known the vagina as vagina, penis as penis but for many people all over the world the right words are the wrong words and a more palatable coded word is used. But then later in life it’s like they have to unlearn and re-name our body parts.
Why is that?
Let us know what you think.
If you have ever been involved in teaching or facilitating sex education with young people, then you will know that using the right words, the ones that make sense and relate to young people, is crucial. In fact, I would say that in all my work in health care most people or service users prefer easy to understand language and meaningful words when explaining health matters that concern them.
I find it fascinating then that so many people use alternative words, essentially codes for the naming of body parts and especially genitals, our "private parts". One example has always stuck in my mind. When I was visiting a family as part of my role as a community practitioner and I happened to say in conversation that I had a niece called Lily, the person I was talking to was absolutely horrified and said "Oh no! Not Lily. That’s our family word for vagina! I was surprised and wondered why people do this.
I have always known the vagina as vagina, penis as penis but for many people all over the world the right words are the wrong words and a more palatable coded word is used. But then later in life it’s like they have to unlearn and re-name our body parts.
Why is that?
Let us know what you think.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Kathy and Walter Rhoden
In this week's post Barbara Hastings-Asatourian pays tribute to Kathy and Walter Rhoden.
This is so sad, dedicated to Kathy and Walter, who both died suddenly in Florida on 30th March whilst out on their Harley. It's only now that I appreciate just what an impact they have had on so many of our lives. Family and friends have been posting condolences and memories on http://www.kathyandwalterrhoden.info for over a week now, and there are hundreds, everyone touched in a lovely way by Kathy and Walter's uniqueness.
Kathy worked as a GP in Wath on Dearne, and I met her as part of the extended Siam Care team. We both spoke at the conferences in Thailand in 2004, 2006 and 2008, and visited Siam Care in Mukdahan togejavascript:void(0)
Publish Postther. Kathy was great fun to be around and laughed such a lot. She was committed to understanding young people, and improving young people's sexual health. I remember the BITE project in 2003/4, touch screen technology, then I remember our plans to work together, and the engaging sessions working with adolescents and understanding the needs of young people. She was really passionate about her work.
In January 2008 I met Walter, Jamie, Emily and Olivia in Thailand, first we spent a week in Bangkok, and then another in Mukdahan with our sponsor children. Walter presented a session on sex and the heart at the conference in Bangkok, and I really liked his dry humour. I have a particularly clear memory of him holding a stack of our passports, and systematically taunting us about the state of our passport photos.
Jamie, Emily and Olivia you are such a credit to your mum and dad, and I am thinking about you all the time. I hope that we can help you somehow, and that the love of your family and friends will help even in a little way to help you get through.
This is so sad, dedicated to Kathy and Walter, who both died suddenly in Florida on 30th March whilst out on their Harley. It's only now that I appreciate just what an impact they have had on so many of our lives. Family and friends have been posting condolences and memories on http://www.kathyandwalterrhoden.info for over a week now, and there are hundreds, everyone touched in a lovely way by Kathy and Walter's uniqueness.
Kathy worked as a GP in Wath on Dearne, and I met her as part of the extended Siam Care team. We both spoke at the conferences in Thailand in 2004, 2006 and 2008, and visited Siam Care in Mukdahan togejavascript:void(0)
Publish Postther. Kathy was great fun to be around and laughed such a lot. She was committed to understanding young people, and improving young people's sexual health. I remember the BITE project in 2003/4, touch screen technology, then I remember our plans to work together, and the engaging sessions working with adolescents and understanding the needs of young people. She was really passionate about her work.
In January 2008 I met Walter, Jamie, Emily and Olivia in Thailand, first we spent a week in Bangkok, and then another in Mukdahan with our sponsor children. Walter presented a session on sex and the heart at the conference in Bangkok, and I really liked his dry humour. I have a particularly clear memory of him holding a stack of our passports, and systematically taunting us about the state of our passport photos.
Jamie, Emily and Olivia you are such a credit to your mum and dad, and I am thinking about you all the time. I hope that we can help you somehow, and that the love of your family and friends will help even in a little way to help you get through.
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