I have often found young people, so accustomed to being judged, frequently anticipating what a sexual health service will think of them.
From the reception desk, I have often observed young people display penitence to rival that of a novice in holy orders. "This won't happen again... I feel so stupid... oh no, I don't need the opening times, I won't be here again", all confessed with eyes cast downwards. This is clearly meant to disarm the disapproving service, so they won't be unkind to them and regard them as one of the undeserving, irresponsible sort. This used to sadden me so much; their experience of services, or the reputation of services, or the community's values which they felt were represented by the service, must have made such an approach seem expedient or appropriate. The idea that there is such a thing as an undeserving, irresponsible service-user out there reflects a host of negative ideas about young people and sex that "the age of permissiveness" has yet to sweep away, or is no way near as embedded as is often claimed! Similarly, in a consultation with a young man recently, we were discussing why people have sex and he was quick to "reassure" me: "oh no, I mean, you don't just do it for fun!"
It just goes to show that there is still a long way to go before a healthier message about sex gets really out there among young people.
Owen Roberts
Development Manager - Young People's Sexual Health Services Crickets Lane Clinic Ashton-under-Lyne
OL6 6NG
0161 343 0303
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Moving beyond the birds and the bees by Jackie Behan
I enjoyed Julie Wray’s discussion of language in particular what we call our body parts last week. It made me think how crucial the issue of language is in sexual health and how often in this country we find it easier to use words and phrases which confuse, rather than clarify.
It reminded me of the comments of young people made in a video booth consultation we carried out when we moved premises. I should add that I work for Brook Manchester, a free, confidential young people’s sexual health and advice service, and part of a national network of Brook centres http://www.brook.org.uk/.
We asked young people how they would improve sex and relationship education and one young women offered this evaluation of the SRE delivered in her school, “it’s just the birds and the bees, what’s that all about?”
Indeed, what is that about? I was surprised to see what feels like such an old fashioned and also oblique phrase still be used by young people today. I was certainly disappointed that this young person was receiving SRE that left her feeling so short changed.
Across the UK through it’s clinical services, its campaigning and lobbying work, and its outreach and education work, Brook and its partners are facilitating a shift away from SRE which leaves young people feeling ill equipped to navigate modern relationships and lacking the skills to negotiate safer, more pleasurable sex.
We want to see programmes that offer a broad range of both skills and knowledge being embedded into the curriculum and beyond. We have seen at first hand how they can develop a young persons’ confidence, their emotional resilience and their ability to reflect upon risk and the impact this might have on their life.
We want to move from comments like that to this resounding evaluation by one young women of a programme Brook Manchester delivered in a school non-attenders’ project.
“I learnt not be ashamed of my sexuality.”
I think I can hang up my hat when all young people describe their SRE in terms like that!
Jackie Behan
Outreach Manager
Brook Manchester
Email: jackieb@brookmanchester.org.uk
It reminded me of the comments of young people made in a video booth consultation we carried out when we moved premises. I should add that I work for Brook Manchester, a free, confidential young people’s sexual health and advice service, and part of a national network of Brook centres http://www.brook.org.uk/.
We asked young people how they would improve sex and relationship education and one young women offered this evaluation of the SRE delivered in her school, “it’s just the birds and the bees, what’s that all about?”
Indeed, what is that about? I was surprised to see what feels like such an old fashioned and also oblique phrase still be used by young people today. I was certainly disappointed that this young person was receiving SRE that left her feeling so short changed.
Across the UK through it’s clinical services, its campaigning and lobbying work, and its outreach and education work, Brook and its partners are facilitating a shift away from SRE which leaves young people feeling ill equipped to navigate modern relationships and lacking the skills to negotiate safer, more pleasurable sex.
We want to see programmes that offer a broad range of both skills and knowledge being embedded into the curriculum and beyond. We have seen at first hand how they can develop a young persons’ confidence, their emotional resilience and their ability to reflect upon risk and the impact this might have on their life.
We want to move from comments like that to this resounding evaluation by one young women of a programme Brook Manchester delivered in a school non-attenders’ project.
“I learnt not be ashamed of my sexuality.”
I think I can hang up my hat when all young people describe their SRE in terms like that!
Jackie Behan
Outreach Manager
Brook Manchester
Email: jackieb@brookmanchester.org.uk
Thursday, April 17, 2008
"Down there!"
Finding the right words, Julie Wray comments....
If you have ever been involved in teaching or facilitating sex education with young people, then you will know that using the right words, the ones that make sense and relate to young people, is crucial. In fact, I would say that in all my work in health care most people or service users prefer easy to understand language and meaningful words when explaining health matters that concern them.
I find it fascinating then that so many people use alternative words, essentially codes for the naming of body parts and especially genitals, our "private parts". One example has always stuck in my mind. When I was visiting a family as part of my role as a community practitioner and I happened to say in conversation that I had a niece called Lily, the person I was talking to was absolutely horrified and said "Oh no! Not Lily. That’s our family word for vagina! I was surprised and wondered why people do this.
I have always known the vagina as vagina, penis as penis but for many people all over the world the right words are the wrong words and a more palatable coded word is used. But then later in life it’s like they have to unlearn and re-name our body parts.
Why is that?
Let us know what you think.
If you have ever been involved in teaching or facilitating sex education with young people, then you will know that using the right words, the ones that make sense and relate to young people, is crucial. In fact, I would say that in all my work in health care most people or service users prefer easy to understand language and meaningful words when explaining health matters that concern them.
I find it fascinating then that so many people use alternative words, essentially codes for the naming of body parts and especially genitals, our "private parts". One example has always stuck in my mind. When I was visiting a family as part of my role as a community practitioner and I happened to say in conversation that I had a niece called Lily, the person I was talking to was absolutely horrified and said "Oh no! Not Lily. That’s our family word for vagina! I was surprised and wondered why people do this.
I have always known the vagina as vagina, penis as penis but for many people all over the world the right words are the wrong words and a more palatable coded word is used. But then later in life it’s like they have to unlearn and re-name our body parts.
Why is that?
Let us know what you think.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Kathy and Walter Rhoden
In this week's post Barbara Hastings-Asatourian pays tribute to Kathy and Walter Rhoden.
This is so sad, dedicated to Kathy and Walter, who both died suddenly in Florida on 30th March whilst out on their Harley. It's only now that I appreciate just what an impact they have had on so many of our lives. Family and friends have been posting condolences and memories on http://www.kathyandwalterrhoden.info for over a week now, and there are hundreds, everyone touched in a lovely way by Kathy and Walter's uniqueness.
Kathy worked as a GP in Wath on Dearne, and I met her as part of the extended Siam Care team. We both spoke at the conferences in Thailand in 2004, 2006 and 2008, and visited Siam Care in Mukdahan togejavascript:void(0)
Publish Postther. Kathy was great fun to be around and laughed such a lot. She was committed to understanding young people, and improving young people's sexual health. I remember the BITE project in 2003/4, touch screen technology, then I remember our plans to work together, and the engaging sessions working with adolescents and understanding the needs of young people. She was really passionate about her work.
In January 2008 I met Walter, Jamie, Emily and Olivia in Thailand, first we spent a week in Bangkok, and then another in Mukdahan with our sponsor children. Walter presented a session on sex and the heart at the conference in Bangkok, and I really liked his dry humour. I have a particularly clear memory of him holding a stack of our passports, and systematically taunting us about the state of our passport photos.
Jamie, Emily and Olivia you are such a credit to your mum and dad, and I am thinking about you all the time. I hope that we can help you somehow, and that the love of your family and friends will help even in a little way to help you get through.
This is so sad, dedicated to Kathy and Walter, who both died suddenly in Florida on 30th March whilst out on their Harley. It's only now that I appreciate just what an impact they have had on so many of our lives. Family and friends have been posting condolences and memories on http://www.kathyandwalterrhoden.info for over a week now, and there are hundreds, everyone touched in a lovely way by Kathy and Walter's uniqueness.
Kathy worked as a GP in Wath on Dearne, and I met her as part of the extended Siam Care team. We both spoke at the conferences in Thailand in 2004, 2006 and 2008, and visited Siam Care in Mukdahan togejavascript:void(0)
Publish Postther. Kathy was great fun to be around and laughed such a lot. She was committed to understanding young people, and improving young people's sexual health. I remember the BITE project in 2003/4, touch screen technology, then I remember our plans to work together, and the engaging sessions working with adolescents and understanding the needs of young people. She was really passionate about her work.
In January 2008 I met Walter, Jamie, Emily and Olivia in Thailand, first we spent a week in Bangkok, and then another in Mukdahan with our sponsor children. Walter presented a session on sex and the heart at the conference in Bangkok, and I really liked his dry humour. I have a particularly clear memory of him holding a stack of our passports, and systematically taunting us about the state of our passport photos.
Jamie, Emily and Olivia you are such a credit to your mum and dad, and I am thinking about you all the time. I hope that we can help you somehow, and that the love of your family and friends will help even in a little way to help you get through.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
This week Julie Wray discusses the power of Rap music ‘Rap can play a positive part in giving out safer sex messages’.. You just have to listen
Normally I can’t stand rap music all that thudding and noise with foul lyrics – gross! My sons love it and they try to tell me that if I simply listened properly to the lyrics I would get it. I am reluctant to admit that it could be a sign of ageing on my part… but I don’t think so, I have not enjoyed most of what I have heard despite constant exposure to the stuff! Anyway the other day my son said listen to this track mum.. It is cool and there is a positive sexual health message for young people, you would like this one! He even suggested that Contraception Education considers using it as a signature track. The song in question is by Dr Evil called STD. Check it out:
In fact, I liked it and yes the lyrics are positive and there is a useful message for young people (well all people). Funny that something so simple can be so effective and that listening properly to the lyrics of a rap song shows that there is power in music. Maybe I need to listen more carefully in future and not judge all rap the same….. Like the saying ‘never judge a book by its cover’. I came across a research paper that explored rap music and sexual health with young people in the USA; it showed that rap has a major role to play within youth culture. I guess what we need to do is embrace the good messages and support the songs/tracks that rap has to offer.
In fact, I liked it and yes the lyrics are positive and there is a useful message for young people (well all people). Funny that something so simple can be so effective and that listening properly to the lyrics of a rap song shows that there is power in music. Maybe I need to listen more carefully in future and not judge all rap the same….. Like the saying ‘never judge a book by its cover’. I came across a research paper that explored rap music and sexual health with young people in the USA; it showed that rap has a major role to play within youth culture. I guess what we need to do is embrace the good messages and support the songs/tracks that rap has to offer.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
This week-end's "Dead Donkey"? or should we be worrying? Julie Wray discusses media coverage of a teens party in Lancashire.
Did anyone see the emotive headline in the Daily Mail or Mail on Sunday ‘School arranges morning-after pills for girls of 14 after end-of-term party descends into drunken orgy’?
I was quite shocked by the coverage of this story. You can access the news item at : http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=541149&in_page_id=1766&ito=1490
In summary, the news piece was based upon the alleged outcomes of an organised party held at the village institute in Wray, on the edge of the Forest of Bowland in Lancashire, by Year 11 pupils from Queen Elizabeth School in nearby Kirkby Lonsdale. It would seem from the Mail’s coverage that these young people were unsupervised, drinking heavily and having unprotected sex ….to quote the article ‘during the unsupervised party the hall was badly damaged and nearby residents were horrified when the revelers spilled out into the street, among them a boy stripped to his boxer shorts and scantily-clad girls. It went so far out of control that the school has taken the dramatic step of writing to all parents graphically describing what went on’.
It goes on to say that ‘After complaints from villagers, the comprehensive's deputy head, Alison Hughes, wrote to parents in stark terms. Along with "significant and harmful quantities" of drink, the children had also taken illegal drugs. Mrs Hughes added that underage sex among the partygoers - aged between 14 and 16 - had been widespread and warned that some of them may be at risk of pregnancy or sexually-transmitted diseases. She said most of the girls who had unprotected sex "were too drunk to be in control of themselves. The risks are real. Assume the worst." The girls were referred for sexual health care. '
There are many issues within this story worthy of comment and debate such as the obvious ones alcohol, drugs and sex. Lets be honest here access and participation in all of these activities has taken place for many decades, amongst teenagers and young people (and beyond).
A few questions I have are: How could such an event be booked and planned based on a few forged signatures? What role did the parents play? Were the police called? Who funded this event? Where did the young people get their money from?
The comments section of the Mail’s piece is quite illuminating, the general theme and tone being moralistic and disapproving of the whole event. Do these people choose to forget their own youth? Are they viewing our youth harshly? I think that quite possibly this story has been blown out of all proportion and that other facts have not been disclosed by the newspaper.
It seems to me that it is the habit of newspapers to seek to denigrate our youth culture and report events in alarmist and negative ways. What do you think? For example do you think that the deputy head teacher was right to share her concerns with parents? And to suggest ways to protect young women from the harmful effects of unprotected sex?
I was quite shocked by the coverage of this story. You can access the news item at : http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=541149&in_page_id=1766&ito=1490
In summary, the news piece was based upon the alleged outcomes of an organised party held at the village institute in Wray, on the edge of the Forest of Bowland in Lancashire, by Year 11 pupils from Queen Elizabeth School in nearby Kirkby Lonsdale. It would seem from the Mail’s coverage that these young people were unsupervised, drinking heavily and having unprotected sex ….to quote the article ‘during the unsupervised party the hall was badly damaged and nearby residents were horrified when the revelers spilled out into the street, among them a boy stripped to his boxer shorts and scantily-clad girls. It went so far out of control that the school has taken the dramatic step of writing to all parents graphically describing what went on’.
It goes on to say that ‘After complaints from villagers, the comprehensive's deputy head, Alison Hughes, wrote to parents in stark terms. Along with "significant and harmful quantities" of drink, the children had also taken illegal drugs. Mrs Hughes added that underage sex among the partygoers - aged between 14 and 16 - had been widespread and warned that some of them may be at risk of pregnancy or sexually-transmitted diseases. She said most of the girls who had unprotected sex "were too drunk to be in control of themselves. The risks are real. Assume the worst." The girls were referred for sexual health care. '
There are many issues within this story worthy of comment and debate such as the obvious ones alcohol, drugs and sex. Lets be honest here access and participation in all of these activities has taken place for many decades, amongst teenagers and young people (and beyond).
A few questions I have are: How could such an event be booked and planned based on a few forged signatures? What role did the parents play? Were the police called? Who funded this event? Where did the young people get their money from?
The comments section of the Mail’s piece is quite illuminating, the general theme and tone being moralistic and disapproving of the whole event. Do these people choose to forget their own youth? Are they viewing our youth harshly? I think that quite possibly this story has been blown out of all proportion and that other facts have not been disclosed by the newspaper.
It seems to me that it is the habit of newspapers to seek to denigrate our youth culture and report events in alarmist and negative ways. What do you think? For example do you think that the deputy head teacher was right to share her concerns with parents? And to suggest ways to protect young women from the harmful effects of unprotected sex?
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Julie Wray on SKINS
I (JULIE) am an absolute addict of the TV show ‘Skins’, it is brilliant. It is one of the few TV programmes where I simply find myself glued to the box!! In fact quite often I watch it with my teenage son and it provides an excellent trigger for us to talk and laugh about the issues. For anybody who has not seen it, this is a British teen drama aimed at young adults which in my mind is at the forefront of growing up in contemporary Britain. It is fast-paced and full of angst-ridden fun, this British drama is based on a group of Bristolian teenagers and their personal struggle with highly-charged issues of race, religion, sexuality, drugs and food disorders.
The issues are real and engaging – the story lines are not far fetched and the humour is amazing. For too long now we have become swamped by reality shows, for young people this makes me sad. Skins is a breath of fresh air. There are some excellent story lines, great acting and the issues covered are handled in a realistic and sensitive way. I think that this show could provide a superb education avenue for teachers, parents, young people and anyone concerned about young people. If nothing else have a look or visit http://www.channel4.com/video/skins/.
The issues are real and engaging – the story lines are not far fetched and the humour is amazing. For too long now we have become swamped by reality shows, for young people this makes me sad. Skins is a breath of fresh air. There are some excellent story lines, great acting and the issues covered are handled in a realistic and sensitive way. I think that this show could provide a superb education avenue for teachers, parents, young people and anyone concerned about young people. If nothing else have a look or visit http://www.channel4.com/video/skins/.
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